March 2, 2025
Estate planning for unmarried couples is about filling the legal gaps that marriage would otherwise cover by default. Without documents, the law turns first to blood relatives, not to the person you share a home, a mortgage, or a life with. This article explains—in plain English—how to protect one another with a revocable living trust, a last will and testament, coordinated beneficiary designations, and medical and financial powers of attorney, plus a few practical agreements that keep daily life simple.
Marriage creates default rights: hospital access, priority to make medical decisions, inheritance rights, and simplified court processes if someone dies. Unmarried partners get none of that by default. If you die without a will (intestacy), state law usually sends your probate estate to parents, then siblings, then more distant relatives—not to a partner. Hospitals follow privacy rules; without your written authorization and a named healthcare agent, partners can be shut out of conversations. Banks and title companies want formal authority; “but we live together” won’t unlock an account or transfer a title. The fix isn’t complicated, but it must be written.
A revocable living trust lets you title assets to the trust during life, manage them as trustee while you are well, and hand authority to a successor trustee if you are incapacitated or after death—without probate. For partners, this is essential for two reasons. First, it provides incapacity planning that a will cannot; your successor trustee (often your partner) can pay the mortgage and keep the household running if you can’t. Second, it makes your distribution choices stick privately; you are not relying on relatives to “do the right thing.”
You can create separate trusts (each of you creates your own) or, in some states, a joint trust if your assets are largely shared. Separate trusts work well when you each have property you wish to keep distinct for family reasons; a joint trust simplifies management when you function as an economic unit. Either way, the trust should (a) name your partner as initial or successor trustee with clear powers; (b) specify who lives in the home and on what financial terms if one partner dies; and (c) set a fair distribution plan for the remainder (to the partner; to children from prior relationships; to charities).
Funding turns the document into reality: record a deed to trust for the home, retitle a non‑retirement brokerage account to the trust, and assign untitled personal property. For retirement accounts and life insurance, keep ownership in your name but align beneficiary designations (more below).
Even with a trust, life leaves stragglers—new accounts, a recently purchased car, a refund check. A pour‑over will directs any probate assets you leave in your name to “pour” into the trust at death. It also names your executor and, if relevant, guardians for minor children. For unmarried couples, the pour‑over will is how you make sure your partner’s role is recognized by the court if a small probate step is required.
Couples often add a partner to the deed or an account as joint tenants with right of survivorship. That move can avoid probate at the first death, but it creates other risks. Adding a partner to title may expose the asset to the partner’s creditors, and joint tenancy does nothing for incapacity or for second‑death planning. If both of you die together, or after the survivor dies without a plan, probate returns. A trust solves these issues cleanly: it keeps control with you while you’re well, gives your partner authority if you’re not, and directs the second act without public court files.
If you do keep some assets in joint form (a checking account for household expenses is common), treat them as practical tools, not as your entire plan.
Most retirement savings and life insurance pass by beneficiary designation, not by your will or trust. If you want your partner to receive your 401(k)/IRA or life insurance, you must name them on the form. Then decide on a contingent beneficiary—often your trust—so if you and your partner die together, funds land in your plan rather than under intestacy rules. If you have children from a prior relationship, use designations to balance priorities: for example, life insurance to a children’s trust, retirement accounts to your partner per stirpes with your children as contingent. The key is coherence: forms must match the intent in your documents.
A medical power of attorney (healthcare proxy) names your partner to make medical decisions if you can’t. A living will records your choices about life‑sustaining treatment in defined scenarios (terminal illness, permanent unconsciousness). A HIPAA release authorizes providers to share information with your partner. Sign all three; give your partner copies; upload to patient portals where possible. These are the papers hospital staff will ask for—not your will.
Even in a trust‑based plan, some assets remain in your personal name—retirement accounts, certain benefits, a stray bank account. A durable financial power of attorney lets your partner act for you on those items if you cannot. Choose an immediate form (effective on signing) for practical cooperation with banks, or a springing form with a clear trigger if you prefer. Keep the original at home; give your partner a copy so institutions can preview and pre‑approve it.
If you are buying or improving a home together, consider a short cohabitation agreement that addresses contributions, equity, and what happens if you split up or sell. These agreements are not estate documents; they are practical roadmaps for the living relationship. They reduce pressure on your estate plan to resolve disputes it was never designed to handle.
Partners worry about the home most. If one of you owns the house and wants the other to remain there after death, write that in the trust: grant a right to occupy for a time or for life, specify who pays property taxes, insurance, and major repairs, and allow a downsize if the house no longer fits. If you co‑own, a trust can instruct the survivor to sell within a window and share proceeds in a defined way, or it can keep the home with sensible cost‑sharing rules. The more specific your instructions, the fewer arguments in a grief month.
Name your partner in your trust and will with digital‑assets authority so providers can lawfully share content and records. Maintain a password manager with emergency access for your partner. In a private letter, list key accounts, devices, and where two‑factor codes live. Decide whether social profiles should be memorialized or closed; say so. These small steps make the next weeks tolerable for the person handling your affairs.
Each of you should (1) create a revocable living trust and fund it with the home and non‑retirement investments; (2) sign pour‑over wills; (3) update beneficiary designations; (4) sign medical and financial agent documents plus a HIPAA release; and (5) write a one‑page “where things are” note. Tell two people where the originals are. With those tasks done, the law will treat your partnership the way you live it.
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Finish wills and agent papers the same day: Online Last Will & Testament → /product/online-last-will/ • Living Will & Power of Attorney (Book) → /product/living-will-power-of-attorney/
Need checklists and deed guidance? Living Trust Kit → /product/living-trust-kit/
Diana is a freelance writer that has written extensively in the areas of finance, financial planning and estate planning.
Freelance Writer
Diana is a freelance writer that has written extensively in the areas of finance, financial planning and estate planning.
